03092013 ; All that about myself

Countdown to 4th month : 8 days.

I have no idea what's wrong with my calculation yesterday.. How could it be 7 days away when it's only the 2nd September? What's wrong with youuuuu? -_-

Anyhow, I do realised the changed in me. I no longer be that "chillax" in facing my stuffs. I can't help it to check on your current status and happenings. #stalkermoodon

But I'll go a little upset or mixed feeling if I found out a tiny bit thing related to her -_-

Anyway, besides than going almost-nuts, I just get to know from Chris that they hate me posting stuffs on my face book. I wish I could explain, but I know the more I explain, the worse it will be. It's my thing to keep on explaining until others totally understands me because I don't like people to have doubts or wrong thoughts about me. My goodness >.< Is it bad to be straight forward?

I'm losing my direction to even express myself. Yes, I admit that some of my post's intention is to keep him updated about my happening and everything whether I'm injured or whatever. (I know he may not give a damn, but I just do it laaa. I always do such thing what >.<)

Now it feels like, I can't even express myself through my own page. Damn.
Not to say I like to pleased others, but, at the same time, I don't like to create misunderstanding. You get what I mean? Or was it me who think too much again? Yeaaa, after I talked to Chris, I didn't really bother much because It's over and I can't do anything. But just, it kept bothering myself wondering if I'm annoying and such. Blah blahh. Twisted like hell.

What should I do huh?

It seems I'm not doing well in everything. Feeling so demotivated :/


Hmmm, just talked to darling and found out that, no one is loyal to anyone. I myself have witnessed it on my own. The feeling is horrible. Especially when the heart that used to belongs to you, doesn't belongs to you any more. I'm loosing my patience and trust on others. Whatever forever, it is all bullshit to me now.

Darlinggg, I know you can't read this but I know who is it even when you refused to tell me who is it.
I do feel bad for you. I wish I could talk to you about this, but I know you doesn't wanna talk about it. I hope you're doing fine al right? Love youuu.

I don't know what should I do.. It seems that I'm not working hard enough for it. I need help but I can't help myself feeling annoying :(

God, please, let me go through this. It doesn't really matter any more whether he is coming back or not.
(Well, of course for now I wish he would) but... mehhh. 





Till then.