04092013 ; All that about myself

Yesterday was sort of a night mare to me. I actually knell down and beg the "Sky God" to help me a little. I was feeling helpless and eager to break out from this whole situation. It's been quite sometime of me lighting up the sticks and make a wish for myself whenever I feel like doing so everyday before we had our dinner.

I have been doing this for the past few years.. Even when I was 12 years old, I wished for a good result in UPSR and I'm blessed that my results turned out to be pretty good. I'm glad that the god hear my wishes and some of them actually came true! Second Class Upper and such... Thank youuuu! :) 

Therefore, besides than me just lighting up the sticks, It had eventually became my short chit-chat place with the god after. So, ever since it happened, I just can't wait for the night to come everyday so that I could update the god about my current happenings.. What's up and etc. 

(Although I guess they already know what's happening up there, LOL)

So yeahh, yesterday when I was just doing the usual thing.. I got depressed and I cried with my knees down. I asked for instant help, feeling all weak again. I'm not putting the blame to the god for not making my wish to-be-with-him-again come true because I do believe in faith. ..

What belongs to me, will certainly come to me and whichever doesn't, will be away from me regardless how much memories we have. I actually dream of him again yesterday but I can't remember what was it about...

I miss him. I really really do.

I feel like looking at his facebook almost everyday but I stopped myself from doing it so that I won't go any worsen. *I hope everything is beyond control!

It's been a month since I last had a big cry and I really really REALLY do feel like crying out loud on someone's shoulder again. Hmmm, I know I shouldn't counting down on these details, but I don't know why am I so sensitive with words, and digits nowadays. 

Sometimes I'm totally chill and sometimes I'm not. It is heartfelt and I WILL NEVER have enough questions for him. I will feel like asking asking and keep asking on silly questions I used to ask him. 

But yeahh, mehhhh much!

Dear god, if you ever hear me again. I'm thankful for which you have given me. My family and friends who will never leave me alone no matter what happens. I could never walk this far without them supporting me in all ways. As of now, I just wish that I could live happily ever after... 

I know I have been wishing and plain just wishing for it but never seems to work on it. 

I promise I will not give up on my life, to move forward while waiting for the right one to came into my life. 

I'll be wise and do whichever I'm supposed to do. 

But for now, just let me be silly bit, I wish he could listen to my soar and know how am I doing. I don't know If I'm still dying to be his gf or friend, but I'm hoping for the best for myself. I hope I'm not asking for too much. Thanks a bunch! 

Meanwhile, Let's get started with freelancing and kicking the gym tonight! 

Till then.