18072013 ; All that about ♥

It's been 12 days since I last blog.

Yea time flies and It is 2 months since we broke up and I hope I'm becoming more and more numb...

I saw a lot of things which makes me feeling uneasy and sad but probably, I should just take it as one of the challenges that I have to go through in order to be stronger in all form in fast future. I hope I can do this too!


Too many things happening, too little time for me to digest. Sighhhh.

As much as I hated to lost you, I lost you.
As much as I hated my thing to go missing, I tend to lost my stuffs.

Dumb me.


I'm trying to let go things, accept what I'm supposed to accept and see what I'm suppose to see...
I really do.

But maybe, 70% of me is all done except for the remaining 30%... which I'm still holding and believing for faith between us. I may be stubborn although I know it will not work. Dumb me.


Before SQ 13', I thought I'd still have slightttttttttttt slightttttttttttttt chance. I thought you will reconsider and come meet with my parents during SQ (Bet my imagination is pretty damn good). But I was wrong,
he didn't show up. He went to SQ, I do not know if I was there or not but, he came with the girl.

Wtf?



Whatever it is, I started to hate the things I see although I thought that I'm all tough. Bullshit.
I'm still a toufu inside and freaking fragile -_-

I don't know why, I started to give that bitch stare at her car or anything about them and I didn't even want to see or talk to him when he is just near to me. Numb, I'm all numb I guess?



Anyway, life goes on.. Sequence 13' has ended and It is about time for me to move on.
I love you, but so what?

I know I will definitely found someone who dear me. I surely will.
I don't know what else am I suppose to say, but... Just wish for the best!!


Yesterday, Vinsze asked me if I'm alright in a "high-middle" tone...
She said everyone said that I have been acting weirdly ever since. Frankly speaking, even without them telling me.. I do realised it myself too but I can't help it. It feels freaking uneasy whenever they are discussing about couple topics and et cetera.

I guess it is more of a inner thing which no one can help but myself. I will try my best because I ain't pathetic.
I'm giving myself a year for anything and EVERYTHING. *Let's put our fingers crossed that I can work on this!!* 


Yea, sometimes I sounded so confident, but sometime I sounded so funny and stupid. Which, I myself don't understand as well. Anyway, I can only say,


Things has been done and I should just love me more. I feel great day by day with the people who love and dear me. In return, I will try to control my temper for a better self in the future and hopefully I can find a new someone soon?


HAHAHAHA dream too early. Nights!



Till then.