It's 2 days until 11th which wraps to the 4th month after breaking up. I remember on 9th May (his birthday), It was a major heart ache day for both of us. I was stubborn on how we didn't acted like we're couple and was showing off my temper when I see other couple being sweet and hugging around in the mall. I was sad and I brought his mood down too.
I remember how I was in cold in the cinema and he wanted to rub my hands to keep me warm... But I didn't let him do it. Because I was upset on our current situation :(
I regretted now. I regret even MORE for not being able to get him a Birthday gift...
I never learn to be less stubborn on things, but, I finally learned now.
We grew after we've committed huge mistakes. I do not know how many times do I have to repeat that I'm still loving him even if it had been 4 months and I think he is already in a new relationship for the past 3 months.
Time flies, and I have no idea how sensitive can I be with all the dates or coincident that I've met lately reminding me on all the things happened in my life. It was such an coincident when people around you are doing or going somewhere on those dates and it reminds you on what had happened on you...
Or even when I look at any pictures or anything which falls before the day, It made me recall what we're doing and stuffs... It's heart breaking.
You get what I mean?
Call me stubborn, stupid or anything that you want to.
People have been asking me why can't I just let it go and I've been asking myself too. But just, It's never going to be easy for me. It is my first love, everything was my first! How can I let go?
Yes, It's been 4 months.. But to me, It is not that long after all. Some one else can still be together again after half a year, so I have been thinking... why can't we?
But errr, I shall stop acting stupid (How many times do I have to tell myself?!). I chat with him a little the other day and he told me that he has been good lately. Well, I think I know right?
Siew Leng, always remember that.. No matter what happens, he will never come back to you again.
Not even a single fuck was given to you regardless what kind of situation you're in. He just.. don't give you a damn any more. Remember all the days where you cry for him, and what did you get in return.
You'll never learn to be stronger if you didn't fall. But now, It is time for you to heal from all the pain that you gained. There will never be the end if you never show some effort.
You've grown stronger. You can do it no one can! You have done your best for him.. You care for him even until now, but if he thinks you're all fine and showing you funny shits, remember not to give a single damn too.
No one deserve to be treated in such, especially you!
Anyway, It's less than a week to convo. Stay positive, happy and pretty! :)
Get rid of all the pimplessss on your face!
Jia you Siew Leng! You're still young.. why worry no one wants you? LOL.
Slap me ba...
Signing off with a great laugh to cheer myself up...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!
Till then.
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