18092013 ; All that about myself

It's been 9 days since I last updated. I have been really busy with interviews or hanging out with my lovelies.
It's been a hectic but fun week I would say...

So last Sunday was my Convocation, had so much fun with my girls the night before and.. It's definitely going to be the most memorable day or moment for  me. But there's only one thing which would be perfect If I could have it with me that day... Him.

It's amazing how you see others having their love ones attending our convocation with their best wishes to their loved ones. I envy.

He did show up at our convocation... He's there probably for his brothers but not me.

I was so silly to even bring them into the hall to meet Simon and Kent when I see them standing beside when I walked out to check for my siblings arrival.. I was hungry before I see him but my appetite is gone after I saw him.


Siew Leng... when will you learn? Sighhh... 


Worse of all, you actually tried to get him back last night. You tell him all sort of things which will make no difference. He just, don't love you any more. He love someone else... I can't take my mind off the things he said. But I trust him. Do you think we will have chance in the future?

I promised him that, I will prove it to him in the future if we have the chance. Was I being too silly?

It's been 4 months plus and it seems I can't let go of him.

There was once, I told him that he has taken all my first time and there's no way for me to let go. He then ask me what he should do and even if he together back with me.. will I be happy?

As much as I want it, I feel like giving a big shout out like "YESSSSSSSS!", but I know we'll not be happy.
I feel like being all selfish to keep him with me and try to win his heart back, but I know he's as stubborn as me and he won't be happy.

I really really wish to tell him "Yes" and see what's his reaction... But, I had no courage to do so.

My dear, what have I done to deserve this? Why don't or can't you trust me? I've never see us coming to such ending. I love you my dear. Why?

I cried again.


He told me that I will still be his best friend ever and he's glad to be with me last time.

I told him that, "I don't want it" but I don't want him to tell me about his choices... I think I know what he will be telling me and It hurts.


So twisted and why it seems I'm so desperate to look for a new one? I don't want to be like him >.<
Siew Leng, always remember that... people do it, that doesn't mean that you have to do the same. I know it's not fair for you no matter what his explanation is. But, what can you do?

Siew Leng, forget it / him will you?



Sighhh. 



Till then.