Title has changed, everything has came to an end.
I finally have stopped dreaming... waking up from my "dream" isn't easy at all. It needs a lot of courage and will power to do so. (I wish that I really finally FINALLY awake from my nightmare)
Until this moment, I'm not sure I'm able to let go this. But, what choice have I gotten?
Love, no more and I only feel that I'm superbly annoying to him. Nagging and "lecturing" him...
Probably that's why he's sick of me? :(
Anyway,
I talked to him about things I heard from our friend... It is about his characteristics.
I hope I told him everything that I wanted to tell and hopefully he will digest them.
Maybe? Or maybe not?I really do not know...
This morning... as I woke up... I could feel the "coldness" and it was so so numb.
I don't know what caused it but I think it is because, I'm still mentally unfit for this. As much as I tried my best to let go everything single fucking thing, the more numb I go. What's more when it is Chinese Valentine's Day today...
He actually wished "everyone" (I suppose), but I think.. He is wishing "her" indirectly.
Frankly speaking, he seldom or I can say he never wish me for this kind of valentine's day. Probably, he just never thought of doing so when he's with me. I didn't mean to bash him up, but as far as I remember.. he really didn't do such thing before :(
Why am I so pathetic?
Talked to xy about all this again and she reminded me what kind of person he is. Again, they told me that he is not a good man. Probably probably they are right... He's just not good enough for me...
Am trying hard to work things out, hopefully I could pull it off perfectly once more. Physically as well as mentally... I wish good things will come to me. Hoping to get someone which will be good for me.
*With fingers crossed*
Alright, I think that's it for now. I shall think positively.
Shall shine my inner beauty more and hopefully he will be able to see it for himself later on? :D
LOL siewleng...
Till then.
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