Heee-ya!
It's time to update my blog again! :)
Don't you think I'm a little cheerful today? Hmmm, Improvement.. improvements! Still way to go!
Anyway, Yeapp.. I'm definitely letting go stuffs but still, my heart feels "tong tong" whenever I see something. Well, xy said it is normal.. So yeahh! It's normal, normal :) Am glad!
It's not that I'd stop loving him, NO! But I'm learning to love myself more first as I always believe that,
I'll definitely find someone who loves me more than himself. Someone who I truly belongs.
I know god is doing their job, so yes! We shall see by then!
Anyway, what do I mean by "tong tong" is... I had a dream last night/ this morning.
It's "THAT KIND" of dream again. It's our wedding day! I suspect the scenes were at the car porch in my house where I believe (in the dream) he got cheated for a small bouquet of flower as our wedding flower...
As he held the flowers to me, it was even smaller than my fist. Just ONE freaking pathetic flower in the middle with some other decorations :(
My facial expression was :( when I see those flower... and my cousins and friends were like.. "You got cheated.. blah blahhh..." So he quickly hand over some cash to our friend and asked her to get 3 bouquet of flowers for me. I forgotten whether it is 3 times more flower or 3 bouquet.. But it is something like this laaaaa :P
Then I smiled and we hehehe a little. As usual, I feel happy for his immediate love and action. He lay his head on my arm and I gave him a kiss on his cheek and I told him that, "It's been so long since I kiss you like this.." and he replied, "Ya lo, you also know hor". Then we continue our hehe and I'm awake from my dream... Once more...
I don't know why... it feels so real in the dream. I thought I really is getting married to him and it seems, that happens AFTER our current situation. It is like a rehab.. We both got back to one another's side after sometimes... That explained why we'd say such thing when I kiss his cheek.
I feel a little... upset or should I say, empty? I don't know how should I respond. It was just a sudden awesome feeling. Just that moment in my dream.
Out of my surprise... He finally have his hair back! No more bald! So good looking! ^_^
I can still remember how he looked at me in the dream... It is just like how he used to see me.
So much love and warmth at heart.
I do understand and aware of our situation now. I will just, let the god to decide... whether what's good for us. Of course, I won't be waiting for you all the time, but at the same time.. I will not discriminate the possibility of us getting back together.
Well, who knows right?
But as I told xy, I'm pretty sure that I will find someone who loves me. I can foresee my future with someone but just, he is not here yet :) *Law of attraction!!!!!*
When Siew Leng gone all positive, it's all going to be really positive.
Anyway, I asked for a graduation gift from him and he said he will think about that. Hahaha!
Hopefully he really will get me something :) As a friend or something. I wouldn't mind any more.
Well, I'm feeling great. Wishing for the best for myself again!
Till then.
No comments:
Post a Comment